She remembered dancing in the parking lot, their hands clasped in the hospital room, frolicking and laughing on their lover’s couch. But now he looked at her with hollow eyes. It shook her. The world had broken its promise again–and it was too much. She woke up to vomit, one eye opening and thinking to herself how the pills looked like faraway stars in an impressionist galaxy. A kind, benevolent galaxy she mused. Wouldn’t that be nice?

He fished through his ipod for something with a little more giddyup. He had to get his mind off of work. FUCK FUCK–wrong lane! The steering wheel fought him. That was close. But in the rearview tires bit into the road and the sedan screamed into the ditch. They’ll be fine. Can’t get another ticket. Just go slow. He was talking aloud now. His spine rigid and fingers quaking and heart barely filling in time to rush the blood back out as if the fluid kept reminding him what he was doing.

Her heart lazily chugged as if it was forgetting what it was doing in her chest anyway. Her breathing was shallow and evaporating. Peace. Like she had never known. Wasn’t this what he wanted for her? He said so. He told her to be calm. It made her laugh like a dragon. But really she wasn’t sure he had anything to do with it. He was more like a witness, until he disappeared. She had seen through the matrix already, years ago. She had just been indecisive. She could see all this from on the mountain. Her science teacher–what was her name?–was ahead of her on the trail, but she didn’t feel like saying hello. And was that the lawyer from the bad commercials sailing above them on a rainbow parachute? One would think if they were going to skydive in a suit, it had best be slim fit. More vomit. Wait. No. Nothing left. Pardon the interruption.

He clumped up the stairs. Kids were still playing with one of those marble looking balls from K Mart. The cat litter was dirty, but fuck it. He needed a red bull to get to sleep. Seven new emails, two of which he cared about. He wanted pain to drown out the pain, or the numbness where he knew the pain should be. Halfway through his red bull, he passed out in front of his laptop. The cat opened the refrigerator and began eating anchovies off of the pizza.



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