Ashtray

My mind is an ashtray

Full of half-baked thoughts

My feelings are delicate like a dry leaf broken off the tree by rain. The trees inspire me, the way they never stop reaching–even if it’s in the wrong direction.

The butterfly flaps its wings. Nothing happens. Six billion butterflies flap their wings. The rain stops–for good.

Now everyone will be delicate too. A slug hides under me, a root under that. The trees make their stand. Water or no, there they are. A desert awaits a salesman who dies of thirst.

Thirst for others. Uncertainty stares up at me from the chasm. I want to jump in–what a thrill, though short-lived.

Upholstery ensconced and¬†yellow and white paint rush by. Many dead trees. The fire got them. They are ugly now, aren’t they?

The wind pushes the door shut. I re-open it time and time again. Will I ask the right questions, see the right angles? Or am I too obtuse?

Other leaves are lighting themselves ablaze. But what are their stories?

Did he hit the train, or did the train hit him? We’ll never know. Could you blame him, I mean would you?

My mind is a dirty ashtray. Ashes are soft, tasteless. They stand for nothing and let the wind carry them. They are lazy. I want to be the cherry. Hypnotizing, captivating. I’ll try hard.

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Raw Fragments

forgotten suspicions amuse me

discovered on a dated device

artifacts are better than a journal–more telling, no sugar-coating/

30 pounds, self-doubt, my inner-quitter: things I’d like to lose

a fulfilling career, pretty pussy: things I’d like to gain/

shit under my fingernails stinks, picked it up and threw it at a brown guy, why

stuck in the mulch, spouting off

driving trucks on sidewalks

orange traffic cones ignored/

drunk or texting murderer

lost friends howl at me from behind the cold stars

lost love presents a scale: relief on one side and an auger in my brain on the other/

smoked too much weed, per uge

thoughts are scattered/

pacing around the lake

winged ones in my pupils

flight is majesty

we can’t dive for fish all the time

sometimes it’s just for fun/

the world is fucked up but what am I supposed to do about it

joy and good will surprise and delight

I try to drink in infinite shades of earl grey

got to breathe too

am I enough is the real fear

when I’m too much I’d rather fuckin’…

I’m no Wollstonecraft, but I’ll still jump in the godamn river

but there’s no need for that

yet jumping out of a perfectly good airplane may be necessary, nay is necessary

to get as close as people can to it

I’ve found this out the hard way

if there was reincarnation, reset without hesitation

do I blame nature or nurture?/

If I were Trump I’d just blame others–the media probably,

but alas, I know better than that idiot

cocksucker is worming his way into my art now for Christ’s sake

idioms, i.e. cliches are useful as far as they go

we all need to study and debate more. Notice I didn’t say regurgitate or bicker…

cruel irony can kill or maim

choking on caviar

gasping hunger knows no bounds/

keyboard clicks and clacks

mind jumps and twists

but if no one reads this did I really write it?

who am I kidding–this shit is for me. The audience is critical, of course–don’t get me wrong

however this is a selfish act, though I suppose less selfish than many of them

is that all you got out of this? smh

 

Wire

walk a straight line

sip your drink with lime

do it all in time

jumping up the street

too hot for your feet

skip to the beat

chilling hard in the yard

let me play the bard

barbecue meat charred

a competition of wits

a soggy bowl of grits

a competition of wrists

a listless mind full of lists

last man standing

stained after a shoddy sanding

 

 

 

***Le

when I’m in your neighborhood I may ask a favor

If you are in favor of that. The angry cat jumps at you from the dark corner . Its energy is lethargic but its intent is lethal. You cannot avoid this intimate death. It was crafted for you by the Gods of War. Lost in the forest, you start to lose heart. But all is well for the leader inspires you. Dig deep and find your fight. It is strong. Practice your Kung Fu daily and frequently. It can’t hurt. Be like the cactus, but drink more water than the cactus does. Keep your blood and ligaments moving in loving circles. Dare to dance to the off-beat music that maybe only you hear. Keep the pace up and get ready to go to the limit. Don’t argue for it. Beware the witch hunt and fish the crick carefully.

Meditation & Action

Take me away to a place where the butterflies play

coloring outside the lines let me stray

thinking outside of the box I must say

as I focus on dreaming away the day

 

But there’s work to be done

problems are all on the run

got to catch them, solve them one by one

work with me it may even be fun

 

tarnished ideals and warped principles

giggle through the smoke and hide behind mirrors

the pain shouts the mind races in place

clear the smog, break the reflections

join hands and fight

yes we can

no we’re not gonna take it anymore

hoping for bloodless victory, knowing it’s half impossible

hang em high or let love decide their fate?

intellect wrestles emotions the back and forth of the oceans

dirty deeds done dirt cheap on plastic island

clouds protecting from sun or raining acid

Oh tell me, you duplicitous vapor, does the universe conspire in our favor?

T

The leopard spots in her eyes say more

Than the ink on her skin

Cinnamon kisses steal

Seasoned meals

On lazy days

And waking nights

Menthol smoke

Obscures the confusion

Soaks into pains

Sprinkled with creative joy

Fussing for entertainment and vain self pity

Fucking for sweet release

In front of the television

Naked ambition shivers

Controlled Burn

A thicket of brush in between us

and cool pools of blood sweat and tears

I haven’t the heart to say…

thorny brush brays in the wind

 

your hand is cold

but love goes on

pain consumes everything

regrets, missed opportunities

 

Hearkening through the ground, small grass seedlings

cautiously observing it all

with binding fear

but hope to match

 

and strike a new humble fire

fallen timber

scorched earth

brown skies, red embers, white ash